Traditionally, it is the husband who goes out to work while the wife stays at home to raise the child. What if the roles are reversed and the child stayed at home with the father instead, while the mother goes out to work? How would that create a positive child development from birth?
Being a work from home father, it gives me the time and flexibility to interact and play with my nine months old baby boy, and to see him grow through the stages as an infant child. However, it dawns on me sometimes whether our baby boy is having enough motherly love, and if it will have side effects in his development.
I was somewhat relieve after reading the book “Healing the Eight Stages of Life” by Matthew Linn, Sheila Fabricant and Dennis Linn, which I’m going to share with you. A small section in the book talks about “touch” builds trust and bonding during infancy of your child, and although mother’s touch and care is critical during infancy, babies need the loving touch and care from fathers too.
It further covers that an average father interacts with his infant child two to seven times a day during the first month from birth, on an average of only 37.7 seconds. Although I believe the figures vary across different culture, but the main point here is that most of the time, fathers interact very little with their infant child, and when fathers have little or no opportunity to interact and bond normally with their infant child, abnormal “bonding” behavior may result, ranging from high delinquency rates and low intelligence scores to premarital pregnancy.
According to the Yale researchers who studied seventeen infants between the age of two and twelve months old, it was discovered that in comparison to infants who stays home with their mother, those who are raised by their father, while the mothers work are tested:
- 6 - 12 months ahead in their problem solving abilities
- 2 - 10 months ahead in social skills
Wow! Does that mean father has a better influence over the development of the child? Well, not necessarily…
The reason why infants who stayed home with their father developed so quickly because, unlike working fathers, their working mothers developed close attachments to their babies by spending quality time interacting with them after work. Thus, the infant grew up securely surrounded by the love of both parents instead of one.
So, the questions to the other fathers out there, “Are you spending enough quality time interacting with your child?”
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